patience is a virtue

so my shelves are ALWAYS stocked with the nesecities.......bread............peanut butter.........black olives.......and excedrin.........all of which in exception of the last Ryan has had on a regular basis.....that is until today.............now when I became a mother, I had NO IDEA that no matter what situation I was in.............divorced....living together...separate etc. I would technically be a single parent...............being a mother means you are ALWAYS the ONLY one with instinct.......otherwise known as common sense...ya know when your kid is quiet for more than 1 minute that usually means when you enter the area he/she is in your bound to find them in one of three scenarios......all of which could result in death or property damage..............

scenario a:
you walk in to find your child covered head to toe in poop...whether It be his/hers or the dogs...or cats.......or whatever thing you have in your house that poops............

scenario b:
you walk in to find your child covered in paint and the room you spent forever painting covered in crayon and marker he/she cleverly got from climbing on that cute little step stool you bought him/her when he/she could barley walk...ya know because it was cute............not because you ever thought there would be a day he/she would use it as a tool.......

scenario c:
you walk in to find your child with your bottle of excedrin open........and that look on their face like they just ate aspirin...because essentially that's what they did.............only instead of inducing vomiting , poison control tells you to take the rest of the excedrin, as nothing but the caffeine will effect your child resulting in 24 hours of the imagination movers and the lion king....with out a nap..........
Now don't think for one second that if the child's father is in that room with him/her your in the clear......a lucky mother to have such an ally.....someone who knows your pain, and who is doing everything possible to keep the child occupied..........while you exit the room for 2 seconds to yourself.....because that my friend.....is not whats happening...........you see a man is always taking time to himself.........even in a room with a loud impossible to ignore2 year old, and all this will do is result in one of the three scenarios above....so my advice if anyone ever wants some is to never ever take that 2 seconds.........until everyone is fast asleep.......or else that 2 seconds will more than likely cost you 24hours or so of cleaning a child, a room, or your very sleepy dry eyes with bio-tears..............patience is a virtue..................and a Mother needs to have more of it than she ever thought was possible..........................................

I rode my bicycle past your window last night

So I had a major impulse buy yesterday..........I purchased a bicycle and a trailer.........and after riding around for an hour with this monster trailer hitched to the back of me, I decided maybe spending 110 dollars in the middle of a recession, on something I dont even have the space for..... wasn't that great of an idea...........see, in order to hitch this thing to my bike, I have to take the whole thing apart.........meaning my bike......yup, I have to get out the wrench........take my tire off and attach this thing..............with a two-year old screaming that its taking to long.........when it cant humanly go any faster..........then as Im riding down the street, trying to gage the girth of this thing, narrowly escaping major damage to almost every ones property......Ryan is crying, ready to get out because he had to sit 3 hours and watch it get put together, so he just wants to come home and take a nap............so I turn around....and even that's a problem.........holy wide turn.......then...............brace yourself.........I have to unhitch and break down the freaking thing just to get it inside..........and why do I need it inside you may ask? well someone stole my sons pool out of my yard............so needless to say I dont trust that dog crap wouldn't get stolen just for the sake of the neighbors theft habit (which they will kindly admit to you)........seriously they are bank robbers....real bank robbers.......but I'll get into that another time..........so 110 dollars later..........and a huge headache........and a screaming child........I learned my lesson again......I always have to go balls to the wall with everything........from buying a house I didnt know was in the middle of the Mexican drug trade, to buying a useless waste of metal and tarp.............someday I may learn to take a deep breath and let my many crazy impulses pass.....